July 2010
rant #2..this summer looks to be a summer of me ranting. get ready.
there are 4 things that impact my life.
God & Church, Family & Friends, Me, Past Experiences
So God is a big part of what makes up my decisions and how i perceive this world. I wonder how people live their life without Him. Obviously my decisions don’t always reflect being a follower of Jesus, but that’s what makes us human. The mistakes we make. Through those mistakes, we can learn. So throughout my life…i’ve mostly thought of what my church/family would think..
I never thought of doing drugs…ever..not even now. To me…its not even appealing/attractive. Besides I never want to disappoint anyone and I don’t want people to think it’s alright.
hmm.. past experiences really shaped me as well.
Problems in elementary school really impacted the way i act now. I never wanted to be mean. I always felt a certain pressure from my friends to be this type of person and to keep this kind of image. Looking back I feel ashamed that I may have hurt others. So now I try to be friendly. it’s not even hard.
problems at home. I walk on eggshells. i want you to understand i might be damaged. haha. this probably has created something like trust issues or something. i always have to be on my best behavior around a certain someone. i hate when people get mad. its my fear. thats why it amazes me that jesus could forgive so easily. i really wish to be more like jesus. he is my savior and i truly look up to him.
this has turned into a rant. i apologize. i am so unorganized with my thoughts. its ridic i know!
i guess the meaning of this rant is FORGIVE AND FORGET & LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
people can change and we shouldn’t give up on ourselves or others. ily!
i love God. pure amazement rant #1.
God provides for us in ways we don’t even understand. Everything in our lives happen for a reason. Maybe that bad day you had helped you to learn something you wouldn’t have learned otherwise. Maybe that school you so badly wanted to get into just wasn’t the one you were meant to be in. This is why we don’t need to worry. God has a plan and it’s absolutely flawless. Just trust in Him.
He stuns me. Just look at his work. Earth is beautiful if you can look past the piles of garbage on the floor or the smog in the air. He created this. He created us. I am just in awe of his amazing abilities.
Jesus was crucified on the cross. While he was up on the cross he said,
“Father, please forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Does anyone else find this awesome? That Jesus could automatically forgive his killers, the ones who put him in this torturous place, and ask for their forgiveness?
This always puts things in perspective for me. Grudges are just so stupid. Why can’t I forgive someone for saying something mean to me, when Jesus can easily forgive the people responsible for his death? I am a lame human. what can i say? we make mistakes!
Recently, I reached out to one of my good friends. I always thought that she didn’t want to go to church. I asked her if she would want to come with me one day and she was actually glad I asked! She told me she’s been wanting to go. This made me really glad that God gave me the courage to share. I hope you can pray that I’ll have enough courage to share with my other non-christian friends and family. It’s definitely something that I think about constantly. Mostly my Maternal Grandma. I feel like she’d really listen if I ever brought it up but I’m scared to. She’s kind of buddhist(?) I’m always scared to share with people (that I don’t know their views) but i shouldn’t be. There’s nothing about God to be ashamed of. Seriously, nothing.
I’m sorry for ranting. its 2:18am. My heart has just been burdened lately and I wanted to gush about my constant amazement towards God.
pray for kenneth pak.
